On My Own
by Clockwork Night
Summary: Five years after Kaoru Hitachiin died, Hikaru reflected over it all, feeling as though he found nothing at all *Slight HikaKaor if you read between the lines, deathfic*


**Well, I'm sorry, this is another deathfic...**

**I've been doing too many of those haven't I?**

**I just feel terrible, and this is one of the few ways to get that out**

**The song I used is On My Own by The Used**

**It's how I'm feeling now and how I think Hikaru would feel if Kaoru died**

**I own nothing**

**Character death**

**Implied KaoruXHikaru**

"Hey Kaoru..." He said, he looked down at the stone stuck in the ground, "I-it's me."

Five years after Kaoru Hitachiin's death... five years changed everything.

Why?

Why Kaoru?

Why did you leave me here alone?

Hikaru set the red and white flowers on the snow covered grass. He was a man now, the people he met since that day didn't even believe he was once a twin...

A twin...

So why did you do it Kaoru? Why did you leave me?

Why did you have to try to save that kid?

The cops would have saved him... but no, you ran to him, you pushed that man away from him...

He got angry

He... he killed you

Hikaru keeled down to be what would be face to face with the headstone,

"I miss you so much..." He said, running his hand down the cold stone, "You just left me here." He sat down in the snow, not caring if his coat got wet. He lay his head down on the stone, just above those two words. "Do you remember when we slept like this?" He asked "I would hold your hand, you would crawl in bed with me? You always fell asleep last and woke up before me... I got to see you sleep once, you where so beautiful."

"Do you remember those times when we would write notes to each other and leave them hidden? I would always find yours too late." Hikaru whispered, he felt warm tears roll down, "I kept them all, I brought them with me when I moved out of the house... I didn't want to leave them behind. I can still feel you beside me when I sleep, I can still feel your heartbeat. Those days where no one could tell us apart, which one is Hikaru? Sometimes I would wish someone would tell us apart." he admitted, "Then late at night when you would curl up on my chest and tell me to go to sleep, I would understand why no one could ever tell us apart, it would tear us apart."

"Then Haruhi came, she could tell, from that day on I was fascinated by her, I knew you felt me pulling away, and I could hear you crying at night... remember the day I decided I wanted my own room? I'm sorry, it hurt me too, I just didn't see it at the time. I thought it was just the wind and rain that made that crying sound, then seeing you... I'm sorry!"

Tamaki and Kyoya watched from afar, the blonde sighed. Hikaru once came everyday to talk to his brother, now it was a little over once a week. Truth be told, they all came to talk to Kaoru, when they did, it was like he was really there.

"Where'd you go Kaoru?" Hikaru asked, "Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to be the hero?"

He knew the answer

Kaoru was the hero, he saved people, he was the quiet twin, the lesser noticed, he was perfect, he was the hero

The hero that saved them all.

"Please... come back home!"

That's when Tamaki and Kyoya couldn't stop the tears, that's when Hikaru let out a scream, one of pure pain and loss, one of hurt and depression,

"Please! Come back home!" he yelled,

but of course, he would never come back,

"Can't you see it?! All these people wasting time on this Earth... you should be here... your needed! I've searched for years now Kaoru... I've found nothing..." He cried, "You left me on my own!" He screamed, he didn't care if other people needed quiet... he needed to yell, to be angry, to cry. "NO!"

Kaoru was never coming back, there would never be the brotherly love act, they could never sleep side by side, never watch their kids grow up and grow old together...

Five years changed everything, from the happy twins that everyone loved, to the quiet, loner boy who talked to his death brother, one who could never let go...


End file.
